You have been thinking about writing a memoir. In fact, you might be writing one already, or putting together a journal of memories.
You may have gotten positive feedback from your friends when you share your progress in passing or a writing circle you tentatively joined to put a bit of your writing out there. Perhaps you lack the zeal to write, but whenever you talk about the occurrences in your life, someone remarks that your story should be a book.
You have my backing. You do. My conviction is that every person has a story to tell, but stories should be told for the right reasons and for the right readers. A book misplaced in the yearly avalanche of 1million books will be a stone plopped into the ocean — never to be seen again. But by taking care to craft your memoir with this questionnaire guide, you will gain clarity on why to write your memoir, how to structure your memoir, and who to promote your memoir, i.e, if your loved ones and friends aren’t your target readers.
What Is A Memoir?
A memoir is a narrative written from personal experience that has three interconnected parts: beginning, middle, and end. It features a slice of a person’s life, basing its theme on a significant period in the author’s life. These periods could spotlight an experience or a series of interconnected experiences founded on the same thematic message. The author must have key points, whether implied or highlighted, that they want the reader to learn from their experiences.
A memoir is structured like a novel, but with a key difference. While a novel is a work of fiction created by the author and impressed on the reader as true events, a memoir is a record of true events enhanced by the author’s original thoughts and later introspection.
Writing a memoir takes dedication, discipline, and time (months or years, depending on your capability or trust in a writer). The memoir is a book of personal truth, requiring the author to find comfort in being vulnerable to revisit past experiences, whether positive or negative. In the era of AI automation, what readers want has not changed in centuries: they want human connection; to follow your journey and appreciate the critical points of your experiences, therefore comprehending how your journey shaped you on an intimate level.
Therefore, before starting, it is of utmost importance that the writer of a memoir takes time to answer the following questions:
What is the central message of my Story?
Your central message is what adds meaning to this period of your life. You journeyed from point A to B to realize that this message held consistently true. Here’s a practical example to help you conceptualize a central message:
Life dealt you a set of cards in a hopeless situation: a place perpetuated by vicious cycles, a superficial home with scarring characters or vices, a demanding period where life was lived on the edge, etc., in all, a stage of defined circumstances, but by your choices, you forged a path from where you were to a better place, or you failed to escape the trappings of such a place, and you are leaving a blue print behind for someone or some people.
From the above, you can tell that a memoir is an in-depth exposition about a period of your life, and so, it should not be written casually. The first steps to follow are:
+ Pinpoint five important moments in your life.
+ Write these down in an accurate sequence
Analyze these points, do they have any interconnected theme or element? What underlying thread can you trace across all five events? Do you see a buildup, conflict, and a resolution of affairs, or a current state of affairs? Perhaps your story does not fit Freytag’s pyramid but instead builds up and plateaus, and you want to leave a testament for someone else. do you see instances where different decisions between these points could have changed any part of your story?
Why are these interconnected points important to you?
Why and how can these experiences be important to others?
What template or mechanism helped you forge on from these experiences, or what pivotal point caused you to change? Can your journey serve as a beacon to others?
What happened during these events that changed or developed who you are now?
Isolate yourself in a quiet place and really consider the answers to questions. It helps to have a visual to look at as you connect these dots.
Who is this message for?
This question also answers why the ideal reader will want to read your book. If your target readers are not primarily family and friends, then some research will help you identify groups facing the same circumstances or adversities in that period of your life.
Ask yourself questions like:
Where can I find these ideal readers? What communities will benefit from my story?
What institutions do these communities use, and how accessible are these readers through said institutions?
What sort of tone or diction will be best for my ideal reader? Will I include common vernacular in my writing to suit this reader? Or, is my author’s voice already suited to my ideal reader?
What other groups or demographics can read my book? Assuredly, your memoir will not be written for everyone, but it doesn’t mean others will not read it. (Although everyone may read it, that’s another important thing to have at the back of your mind.)
You can set your book for success by spending some time interviewing people from your ideal group. Ask them what they think about similar experiences or circumstances they are facing. It is always best to choose people with whom you have a rapport to gather useful answers.
How will family and friends react to my Memoir?
Consider your background and the people who will feature in your story. Are you prepared to face the reception of your story? Or even legal action? If not, consider using pseudonyms and not explicitly describing significant persons, as the case may be.
How can I make my story riveting?
A memoir usually takes the outline of a novel, and so, there are three ideal things to consider before writing your book:
- What narrative structure suits my story?
- What needs to be left out?
- How can I write in a compelling author’s voice?
What narrative structure suits my story:
There are several popular options to apply when it comes to storytelling, but the most important thing to consider is knowing which structure suits the pace of your story. Usually, memoirs stick to two simple styles of structure: Chronological and Nonchronological (In Media Res).
A chronological account is linear in fashion, leading from the beginning to the end. A nonchronological approach is dramatic, aimed at creating excitement and suspense by putting the reader in the midst of action, flashback, or dialogue.
Ask yourself these questions:
Was this period of my life fast-paced and unbelievable, or was it a quiet summation of truths I had once been oblivious to? I believe this question should orient you on the best narrative structure to choose.
If I were the latter person in the above paragraph, I would choose a chronological narration. And, as a writer, I would encourage the first person to try a nonchronological narration.
What needs to be left out?
Writing a memoir won’t just require writing itself, but also the intuitive ability to distinguish what parts of your story are important and what should be left out. A mistake first-time authors make in memoirs is trying to capture everything that happened in that period of their life. No. Your memoir is a story with a purpose, and anything that doesn’t contribute to that purpose does not need to be a part of your story. Adding every inconsequential event or character to your memoir adulterates your central message, leaving you with a chaotic record of events instead of a clear message. Forming the rest of your memoir across the five points you selected is the best way to stay true to your course.
How can I write in a Compelling Author’s Voice?
Speech is permissible to a wide extent of flaws in human communication, especially in our daily, informal interactions. When it comes to writing a book, note that however you sound will be set in stone for all time and for all people once it is published. So ask yourself, how do I really want to sound? Am I okay sounding the way I speak, or will I prefer to adopt another tone, for the sake of my story and the sake of my ideal reader?
Finally, the last question to consider is this: Am I skillful enough to write a compelling story? Your story will always be yours.
You lived through those experiences. You made your decisions and dealt with consequences, but do YOU have to go at writing your story alone? No. Most celebrity memoirs are ghostwritten because of any of these reasons:
- They are not writers:
Just as every professional dedicates a portion of their lives to building knowledge and mastery in a skill or industry, a writer is always your best bet when it comes to storytelling. Storytelling is an art that can be likened to muscle building: the writer studies and practices over time to become an expert storyteller, knowing when and how to employ literary techniques in writing to enhance the delivery of your story and present the best version of the author’s voice. ‘
Everyone can cook or learn to cook basic dishes, but we all dress up when we go to Michelin-starred restaurants, because the taste and experience are different; it appeals to a more refined palate. Hence, we cannot commonize the dishes from the chef simply because we all have stoves at home. Yes, you can write your story on your own, but with a writer’s expertise, your story’s potential is fully utilized. Your writer’s version will tame the formal expectations of a wider audience, therefore improving your book’s reach and the possibilities that could arise from a well-written book.
2. They don’t have the time:
Even authors hire ghostwriters to meet the expectations of the masses when dealing with a great volume of work. A simple Google search of popular authors who have used ghostwriters will prove this. Yet, readers still gobble up their favourite author’s books despite this common knowledge. Ghostwriters are only here to help authors be great. I am only here to help you be great.
This question is not intended to kill your confidence as a writer. Most renowned writers themselves suffer from writer’s block and imposter syndrome periodically, but they have dedicated a long stretch of their lives to being writers. You don’t have to do that if it’s not your calling.
If you decide to write the story…
A good place to start before writing your own memoir is by reading other memoirs. Read to observe how authors carve out their stories, scenes, and characters. You should also invest in writing courses and learning about the craft of storytelling. All I have listed should take months to a year to build your aptitude for storytelling, especially if you’re not used to literary writing. And yet, I will not encourage you to write without the support of a writing coach. A coach will be in your corner throughout the process to help you stay disciplined, productive, and true to your book’s message.
But if you realize it will be best to use a ghostwriter instead, you can always reach me via my Linktree. As your Ghostwriter, my job is to understand what you’re saying and steer you towards what is needed but unsaid to gather rich material for your book, and proceed to knit all that information into a wholesome story that clearly passes your message.
The most important goal of every life story is the message. In whatever you choose, ensure this is not lost.
My name is Racheal Asikpo. As a Memoir and Autobiography ghostwriter with a decade of experience, I am passionate about how stories impact lives and change futures. When I work with aspiring authors, I seek to immerse myself in the writing process to realize the best delivery of their voice in their story.
As a science fiction and fantasy ghostwriter, I enjoy plunging into challenges of unboxed imagination, creating thought-provoking journeys for readers.
You can learn more about me from my Linktree.
I also write episodic shorts on Medium and my Substack, you can subscribe for more!
I look forward to hearing from you.
[…] have to contain your whole life history, as it is not a Biography, (of which I share some info on here). Therefore, the focus here is your history as a writer. If you are not a published author yet, […]